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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

So I am going to be on TV... hello insomnia!

So I got the call today that I have been picked to do a craft segment on the HGTV cable show called That's Clever! 

I am very excited, but memories of how difficult high school speech class was keep coming to mind. Thankfully I am fully committed to letting go of old fears. But there is no way I will be able to sleep until it is all over and I will prepare in the way that only a complete control freak can so that on the day of the shoot I can just chill.

Curiously enough last weekend I also found myself on the end of a camera, sans makeup with serious morning hair, to film a segment for a clip that should appear sometime online. It gave me a chance to see what it is that I do when you stick a camera in my face:

I babble
I nod A LOT, seemingly agreeing with everyone and everything
I glance at the camera
I become the person who compulsively winks at the cameraman
I added the host's name at the end of sentences with a hard syllable.
"Thank you, LIZ."

And this is all for a bit that lasted maybe 60 seconds. But it was eye opening and I have some work ahead of me. The segment people will be around to film for five to six hours!

I worry:

That I will start talking and never stop from beginning to end
That somehow I will do something so horrible and so cheesy that it will be played back in my head like a doofus home movie clip forever more
I will mispronounce a word, or even worse, use it incorrectly over and over again
I will become supremely southern like I do when I drink too much or talk with lower state customer service reps
That suddently I will become bad-madonna british. This is something that has never happened, but what if it could happen. 
What if I fall and get a head injury? 
I can't think of anything to say at all
I say something completely wierd (this is not out of character for me
I say something that horrifies my mother
I wear something my mother dislikes so much she mentions it every five seconds any time the TV show is brought up forever
Something about my craft goes crazy like the time Martha Stewart's Berry Wreaths kept exploding all over the front doors of homes across america whenever it got too hot

I will keep everyone posted as the hilarity unfolds!

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